SCARY THOUGHTS OF A NATURAL EVENT!

Last night, we got a phone from my dad who is currently visiting El Salvador, our homeland, where he told us that he had gone to the doctor because his right leg was all swollen and it was not getting any better. He left a week ago and he was having some troubles already but never thought much of it, yet I was a little concern. This is not a surprise because I tend to get easily concern about anything that might be happening to my loved ones.

So, he is having circulation problems and his artery is now clogged which brings a higher risk of a blood clog to leave that area and start traveling thru his system to his heart, lungs, or brain causing a much more life threatening condition or even death. I have been praying more than usual and trying to be as positive as possible but as anything else the consideration of the negative has been in my mind since last night.

It would be my first time of losing a loved that close to me, my greatest lost so far has been my little angel who I did not get to meet but who I loved deeply before even her ephemeral existence inside me. I have always know that sooner or later death will be part of my life and don’t get to think much of it because it might be a little scary because of certain selfishness on my part. I want to enjoy my loved ones as long as possible and can’t picture my life without them.

Last night, I started thinking that if my dad were to depart from this existence he would do it from the country he loves so much even if we are not there with him in that moment. We would need to go and do the whole ritual of the last earthy good bye for us. Considering this far had never been at all possible before even when he went through chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant because of cancer.

My heart and mind get filled with great sadness thinking of it but time has played a role on me letting myself contemplate death from a different reference point. Why is it that we are not ready for death the same we are for any other fact of life?